by Marjorie Brody, MA, CSP, CMC

You've probably heard the line, "There are no second chances to make a first impression." In most cases, it's true. If you make a poor first impression, you may not get another chance. That's why it is important to make the most of every opportunity to meet and greet other people and leave them with a positive impression of you.

Whether you have been working at a company for a long time, are new to the workforce or are looking to re-enter or make a change, how people perceive you and how you use the opportunities you are given to make contacts will impact your success.

Keep these 11 rules of thumb in mind at any meeting or greeting opportunity and you'll be a networking whiz - regularly bringing in new leads and solidifying existing business relationships.

1. Your handshake says as much as your voice -- Limp. Wet. Clammy. Bone-crunching. Squeezing. These are the words you don't want used to describe your handshake. Firm, dry and two to three quick pumps up and down are all you need to leave a good impression -- that goes for men and women.

2. Use business cards -- What if you don't have one? If you're not working, have some made anyway. They are an inexpensive way to leave a good impression. Put your name, e-mail address and telephone number. Don't blanket a room with them; be selective. Only give them to people you think would welcome receiving one. In foreign countries, the rules may be different. Know ahead of time what the proper protocol is when exchanging cards.

3. Have and use a personal introduction -- This should be brief, informative and memorable -- a bit like a 10 second commercial. For example: "Hello, I'm Mary Jones. I help people save money on their taxes." Or, "Hello, I'm Tom Randall, I help people organize their offices to increase productivity." This type of introduction will almost always encourage the other person to ask, "How do you do that?" or, "Tell me more" - promoting further dialogue. It's important to tailor your introduction to the situation. If everyone already knows who you work for, you don't need to repeat it. It's a good idea to practice your introduction aloud in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable using it.

4. Know how to introduce others -- Have you ever been with unfamiliar people
to whom you weren't introduced? If so, you know how uncomfortable it can be. The un-introduced person usually feels like an outsider. This also can be distracting, with people trying to figure out who's who. Some professionals who get into such situations do not feel confident or assertive enough to introduce themselves. This is where you can step in and demonstrate your good manners and professional polish. The proper introduction involves three steps:

· First mention the person's name with the greatest authority or importance. Gender or age is not a deciding factor. When a client is involved, he or she should be mentioned first.

• The second step includes saying something about the person that is being introduced: "Bill Smith, I want you to meet Pam Holland, who is Vice President of Sales at Brody."
• To complete the introduction, go back to the person of highest rank (customer, etc.) and say something about him or her: "Bill, I want you to meet Pam Holland, who is Vice President of Sales at Brody Communications Ltd. Pam, Bill Smith is the human resources director at XYZ Company - our valued client."

  What should you do if you forget the name of someone you need to introduce to another person? The clever way would be to introduce the person you already know. Say, "I don't believe you've met Marjorie Brody, have you?" This will almost always result in the third person saying, "No. We've never met. My name is Frank Black" - or words to that effect. If no one introduces you to an unfamiliar person, don't be shy; take the initiative. Extend your hand as you say, "My name is Marjorie Brody. I don't believe we've met."

  5. Acing the name game -- A person's name is their prized possession. It represents a reputation, and is a calling card of sorts. There are points of protocol to follow when it comes to using a person's name in business - whether client or prospect, vendor or coworker. Remembering the 4 rules of the name game that can help you win in the end:

  · Think twice before using nicknames -- One of my biggest pet peeves is encountering someone for the first time - in person or on the phone - and he or she says "Oh, hi Margie (or Marge)." No one in business calls me by either name. My name is Marjorie. That's what I say when leaving a message and when introducing myself. Never assume you've guessed the person's nickname, or that it's OK to use one if you do know it. Along the same lines, never shorten a person's name if the option exists. For example, don't call someone named Richard "Dick," "Rick" or "Ricky" unless they have specifically asked you to do so. I've seen business cards that have a preferred nickname in quote marks or parenthesis in the middle of a formal name. -- for example, John "Jack" Callahan. If you see this, then you have been given permission to use their nickname. If the person doesn't say "Please call me Jim," then continue to call him James. Of course, it's always a good idea to ask, "What do you prefer to be called?" Then do it!

• Know telephone name tips -- As a phone caller, do you use a person's first and/or last name when asking to speak to him or her? What about when making a sales phone call -- does the caller need to give his or her first and last name? Common sense would dictate that you use both first and last names when making cold calls or calls to those who don't know you very well. If you have an established relationship with a client or vendor, using your last name is not necessary. You can also say something like "Hi Jim. It's Miriam at Brody Communications." Always go into the call assuming the person answering the phone does NOT know your name or voice - especially if your name is not unusual. There aren't as many Miriams out there as Steves or Jims.
• Using first or last names -- Don't assume it's OK to be informal even if you know the person's first name. It may be OK to say it once - figure out the context of the call and how you learned the proper name. Listen to the other person's cues. Don't say "Ms. Brody" if she said Marjorie.
• What to do if you blow it -- What if, despite your best efforts, you can't remember the person who's calling you? Consider asking the caller who's only provided a proper name for his or her company name. This may help jar your memory for recalling the last name, or at least aid your finding the person in the database under a company name.

Despite your best efforts, there will be times when you simply cannot remember someone's name - even when you are in face-to-face encounters. What should you do if you're introducing this person to others? The clever way would be to introduce the person whose name you know. Say, "I don't believe you've met Marjorie Brody, have you?" This will almost always result in the third person making a comment like, "No. We've never met. My name is Frank Jones." The best approach is honesty. Tell the person you're sorry, but you need a reminder. Consider injecting some humor into what could be an awkward situation.

6. Know how to initiate conversations - Sometimes you may feel like your elementary school teacher just called on you in class and you don't know the answer when you have to start a conversation. The spotlight is on you. Initiating small talk is an art rather than a science. But it is an important art, because it can help you overcome the awkwardness of first meetings and to connect with people. Here are some polite and proven ways to effectively start a conversation:

• Make an upbeat observation. "Wow. I never knew that this seminar was so popular. I've already picked up a lot of useful information."
• Offer a pleasant self-revelation. "This is my first time in Philadelphia."
• Ask an open-ended question. "How are you coping with all that bad weather you're getting?

If your first opening line fails to elicit a response, try another one. The open-ended question should work even if the person is shy. If there is still no response, quietly move on to something or someone else. The last thing you want to do is be annoying. A little small talk can help you progress from an initial introduction to a comfortable conversation. It can put people at ease and establish a rapport that will help establish a solid relationship. One of the best things about small talk is that it's an art you can practice just about anywhere, and at anytime. You can be passing a co-worker in the hallway, waiting for an elevator, or sitting next to someone on an airplane.

7. Be prepared with topics of conversation -- Since you never know when the opportunity to initiate small talk will arise, always be prepared with a repertoire of ideas and topics. Some conversational openers that are always appropriate include traffic conditions, sports, or that old standby, the weather. When you're away from your own office, try opening with a favorable comment about the city you are visiting or the event you're attending. Steer clear of such conversational taboos as religion or income, anything highly controversial, and any intimate details about your life. Also avoid the subject of health -- whether it is your own or the other person's.

Keeping up with current events will help you build a supply of effective small-talk openers. Read your daily newspaper, magazines and professional journals. When you are in another city for business reasons, read the local paper. Knowing what's going on around you can help you to join in a conversation. Always be careful to keep your comments neutral and positive, especially on subjects that can become inflammatory, and particularly when you are a guest in someone else's city or country. If you need to talk about private or confidential information, avoid discussing it in elevators, restrooms, hallways, public transportation, restaurants, or even office cubicles.

8. Be a good listener - It's great to be a good conversationalist, but do you
effectively listen? Always listen attentively when others speak. Besides being the polite thing to do, this will help you learn a great deal about the other person. You will pick up valuable clues about the best way to guide the conversation.

Meeting and greeting effectively with coworkers, clients, prospects and vendors doesn't have to be a chore. Learning the nuances of networking know-how is not difficult. Just follow these eight guidelines and you'll be comfortable in all business social situations.

Article copyright 2003 Marjorie Brody and Brody Communications Ltd. Marjorie Brody, MA, CSP, CMC, is founder and fearless leader of Brody Communications Ltd. in Jenkintown, PA, and an executive coach. She helps individuals and corporations achieve their potential by strengthening their professionalism, persuasiveness and presence. Marjorie has presented to more than 1,000 audiences, and is the author of 15 books, including Help! Was That a Career Limiting Move?, Speaking is an Audience-Centered Sport, and Professional Impressions...Etiquette for Everyone, Every Day. She has appeared on CNBC several times, Fox-TV, Oxygen Network, and been quoted in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, People, BusinessWeek, Fortune and many other national publications. Marjorie can be reached at 800-726-7936, or by visiting www.MarjorieBrody.com. To sign up for her free quarterly newsletter, go to www.BrodyCommunications.com.

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